Saturday, July 07, 2007

Live Earth Day!!!!

Woo hoo! After today, there will be no more Global Warming. Al Gore and the Goracles are going to rock away the heat baby! 7 continents and a billion people rocking out. What more could Gaia ask for? This is a brilliant plan. An entire day of non-stop private jets flying around the country, massive stage sets gobbling electricity and a billion people with their TV's, stereos and radios all cranked up using the evil electric juice that these stars hate so much.

If you are feeling the tofu inspired love, you can help the cause here. Make a donation...get a t-shirt! What could be better? This is the shirt I bought, can't wait for it to get here so I can fit in with the eco-nazi's.
My suggestion for the Goracle, you might want to start small chief. Clean up your own life, be a bit of a parent, get your kid on track. Then, well you know, gradually increase. Demolish your house and live in a zero-energy using house, ride a bike everywhere (exercise would be good for you bud) and lead by example. The "do as I say" attitude you and your acolytes preach ain't gonna go down well with the American public. I'm sure the Europeans love it, and the rock-stars and Hollywood types are always on the lookout for the next great Religion (yes Al, you are the new L. Ron Hubbard) but normal, common-sense Americans would tell you to stick your hypocritical sermons up your compost heap.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going outside to feed some cows some beano, light some tire and garbage fires, and spray some aerosol cans in the air. But don't worry, I'll be listening to Live Earth on the XM, so I'll be saving the Earth, one terrible terrible song at a time.

Arctic Monkeys Rule!!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Mr(s). Clinton Responds to Pardon

"This commutation sends the clear signal that in this administration, cronyism and ideology trump competence and justice." - Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y.

What an odd statement. Cronyism is, according to wikipedia, a partiality to long-standing friends. Here is a list of Clinton pardons. I am assuming Hil is claiming her experience in the White House as First "Lady" count towards her um, long list of credentials to be President of the United States so it seems to me anything done during her stay is relevant.

Notice anyone strange on that list? Anyone who immediatley jumps out as the good ol prototypical crony? Hint, search for Clinton.
Sure enough! In one of his last acts as President, Bill Clinton pardoned his brother. What were the charges? Surely they must have been shop lifting or inattentive driving or some other minor infraction? Nope.

Conspiracy to distribute cocaine and Distribution of cocaine.

Yeah, damn Bush and his cronyism...unheard of!!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Say Goodbye to the Cookie

Midwest shareholders will be voting on three new board members today, and with the recent poor earnings forecast, coupled with the shockingly strong remarks from analysts, AirTran as good as owns Midwest.

It's tough to say how that will affect the customers, but the more efficient business model of Air Tran will lower prices and no frills, despite pledges to keep the cookies.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Sopranos: Tony Is Dead

I really enjoyed the Sopranos (didn't get to watch it until yesterday, since I have my priorities straight: Brewers then all else). The episode was fantastic as a whole, but some people are whining about the ending.

The cut to black was brilliant. It lets everyone come to their own conclusions and will keep people debating the Sopranos for years. My belief is that Tony was killed and the final scene was through his eyes (like the cuts to everyone who walked in from Tony's perspective). The screen went blank, as in Tony and Bobby's discussion about not feeling anything when it happens. "You never hear it coming." I think Member's Only guy killed him.

However, this also was a brilliant way to leave the series open for a movie. None of the main guys still alive (Tony, his family, Paulie and Sil) were killed. In addition to plot possibilities, there will be considerable buzz for a movie, and water cooler discussion, about the Sopranos from now until it is finally made.

I'll probably watch it again in a few days to see if I still liked it, but since the more I think about it the more I like it, I'm sure I'll still enjoy it.

Gay Bomb (Maybe That's What Happened to the French?)

This isn't unbelievable, but it is damn funny. If you have ever seen the movie Flesh Gordon, imagine that, but with all dudes...kinda makes me want women on the front line.
Pentagon Confirms it Sought to Build 'Gay Bomb" - A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Are we sure Madison was never bombed?

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Fat Chicks Hate Bush

The fat girl who is revolutionizing TV by making it okay to be tubby on the tube has blasted the President.

“I guess I'm a free-spirited person and America's supposedly the 'land
of the free,' right?” She then added, to loud applause from the left
coast film industry audience: “Or at least we will be in 2008.”

Great, big girls (Natalie Maines anyone...) feel free to hit the buffet, and rip the President on the way to the dessert table.

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