There are few pieces of advice one can give to a friend when they embark on a video game tournament. Top on the list has to be "get a life" but a close second comes from Gary, an Anglican pastor and avid Halo 2 gamer.
"Look out for the guys with no tans," Gary says. "They're the dangerous ones."
The rest of the article is a pretty funny play-by-play of the decimation faced by novice gamers when they venture into the no holds barred world of competitive video gaming.
The next game is a blur on failure. I can't count the number of times someone snuck up behind me and "assassinated" me. I'm tempted to change my game name from The Parcel to Target Dummy.
Suddenly the Master Chief enters, clad in his magnificent green armour. Fans flock around to have their photo taken with him. It's like Pamela Anderson has entered the room. Interestingly, he doesn't have his trademark battle rifle - it's illegal to brandish even a replica gun in public in NSW.
It is on game six that I cross battle rifles with Grim Wally. The object of the game is to hold a ball for five minutes, but after Wally kills me a few times, all I can think about is revenge. Once I get him in my sights, I lose it.
"Die, Grim Wally, die!" I scream. After a burst of gunfire, his figure crumples to the ground, arms twitching. I'm not the only one screaming in the room. By this time, people have fuelled up on Red Bull and are getting jumpy.
Caffeinated teammates are exchanging high fives and yelling, "Double kill! Double kill!"
Our losing streak continues until lunch. We resolve as a team to win at least one game. Gary and I discuss the possibilities of Halo 2 as a church event, but Gary is unsure about the idea of his flock "shooting" the pastor.
Sorry but this whole article inspired a lot of searching for a documentary called Gamers and hillarity ensued. Eventually, I found the Gamers website but not before stunbling upon a video that has made me laugh for hours on end when the work trickles to a drizzle. The classic LARPer "lightining bolt" video. In addition, I ran into this film, an entire documentary about the crazy LARPer's (live action role playing). Nutty stuff. Make sure to check out the trailer! There is also a TV spot worth viewing.