Friday, February 11, 2005

Breaking news from!!

It seems that the author of such classics as Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huck Finn was not actually named Mark Twain. Rather he was a GOP plant whose real name is Samuel Longhorn Clemens. Using his diabolic time machine, evil genius Karl Rove went back in time to convince Twain/Clemens to pepper his writings with racial and ethnic slurs. It seems this was all a plot by the Bush cabal to "keep the black man down." Obvioulsy this is incredibly important news, and we expect President Bush's resignation at any moment.

According to Daily Kos, the leftist bloggers are also frantically working on a rumor that William Shakespeare's real name was not in fact William Shakespeare.

In a lesser story, Dear Abbie is not really Dear Abbie. In fact, there have been multiple Dear Abbies over the years, and it seems Bush has installed nefarious neocon Paul Wolfowitz in the coveted position.