Wednesday, March 09, 2005

The nutters (a DUer of course) solved it!

They have known all along that we wanted to kill the Italians, but no one could figure out a motive. Well, it turns out that the multiple shots were really covering fire for a crack sniper to shoot the communist reporter (in a car going 100 mph...very nice shot indeed!) because she knew about all the terrible chemical attacks we carried out in Fallujah. The hit would have worked too, if it hadn't been for "the heroic sacrifice of Nicola Calipari. Ironic that the neocons are stymied by a combination of altruism and duty, things they cannot possibly comprehend."

Honestly, it's a bit tough to follow the logic, but I know it has to be right. Here's more:

Had everything gone as planned, an American sniper would have assassinated
Italian journalist Giuliana Sgrena with one shot, following the sniper's code of
'one shot, one kill'. The only independent witness to what happened would then
be dead, as both her guardian, the heroic Nicola Calipari, the driver of the
car, and the other two passengers were Italian secret service agents, thus
worked for Berlusconi, and would be unable to say anything (on other accounts,
the driver may have been an Iraqi, but he could easily be disposed of). The
Americans obviously could have killed everyone in the car by simply blowing it
up, but it would then have been impossible to claim that this was just another
mistake made by a panicking speeding driver at a checkpoint. By firing lots of
rounds, but with only one shot killing anybody, it is clear that either the
Americans are terrible shots, or all the flying ammo was simply a ruse to hide
the only shot that mattered, the one that would kill the person with the
information on what happened in the chemical warfare attacks on Falluja. All the
Americans, except for the sniper, were shooting to miss.

Additionally, the US was apparently in a bidding war with Italy, we wanted her returned dead, they bought her freedom...

Presumably because the Americans offered them so many dollars to have her
returned dead. Fortunately for her, the Italians offered more to have her returned alive.

It's a shame that the author's true motives are finally revealed in the last paragraph with some nuty anti-Semitic rant:

Shooting journalists is just like the Israeli shooting of journalists and
international human rights monitors, and the entire Sgrena incident is just
another Israeli-style 'targeted assassination'. The Israelification of the
United States continues

More fun with anti-semitism abounds in the blog.